Tuesday, January 31, 2006
A person is known by the friends they keep. No matter what we say we are, it's our associations that define us.We attract people like ourselves, to ourselves.We are attracted to people like ourselves.Our friends verify who we are. We should choose friendships that elevate us.
Friends who help us rise are friends indeed.Those 'friends' who pull us down are not friends at all.
it got me home
10:53:00 PM
I really wonder at what state i'm at now.. sometimes i'm unclear of what i want, unsure of who i am and lost at what i'm doing.
It occurs to me that a friend(in the past) stopped coming from church.. and according to what i know, she backslided. But I just saw her blog saying that she still loves God. Another friend of mine, a former CG member, backslided due to family persecution but from what I heard, she still continues to read and worship God. I'm really confused. Backslide means totally detached away from God right, but how come in some way or the other they don't seem to be one? Somehow it challenges my faith as a Christian for this matter.. Anyone can answer my enquiry?
There are so many things I want to see in my life, changed right now:- Financial stability and abundance in my family
- Harmony in the family
- Improve of relationship with my dad
- Strong spitirual growth
- No more layback attitude
- A distinction for my Final year Project
- Friends to be saved or to hear the gospel once.
- To really be a counsel and blessing to the people around me
Whenever I'm in a situation whereby I have to help a friend, I always get stuck because I dunno how to help but I guess that's how the Holy Spirit comes in to empower the person to do things that he cannot do it alone. So it's like I have to learn how to depend on the right resources to do things right.
In life we all know we can't afford to make mistakes but making mistakes let us learn the true values of life and reminding us not to commit it again, ever. I pray when it comes to salvation or spiritual growth, one mistake is enough for me. There's always this fear in me that i would make the same mistake but I shall rebuke this fear within me that it'll be taken over with the confidence of Christ. =)
Matt 21:22 -
"And whatever things you ask in prayer, believing, you will receive.”
1 John 3:18-19 -
My little children, let us not love in word or in tongue, but in deed and in truth. And by this we know that we are of the truth, and shall assure our hearts before Him.
it got me home
1:00:00 AM
Sunday, January 29, 2006
Haha.. new skin for my blog, in the new lunar year!! Haha!!
Suddenly for the past 2 days, one thing just hit me. My life not only revolves around my friends only but also my family. I mean it's not just spending time with them only but also to care for them, like never before. It had never hit me this hard before. There's more than just asking them how are they or listening to what my parents ask me to do. It concerns how to make this family a better one, picking up the pieces from this already-broken family. And that's what God wants me to do right at this very moment.
Think some of you reading would know what happened between myself and my dad. Well, I can't run away from the fact that I have to face him, some way or the other. Sometimes how i wish everything that i had experienced would just be a dream, that when I wake up, everything will be so nice. But like what someone pointed out, we all hope for the best of what we have still it's not possible at times.
It reminds me of Jesus, how He had to carry out the will of His father, to sacrifice Himself for the sins of the world so that you and I can be here, saved and to stand before God, justified. Down here, I am to carry out the will of my Father also, that He wants me to build this family up again so that the picture will once again be perfect. I know I may sound super holy here but frankly speaking, if I were what I used to be, I wouldn't even bother doing all these or let alone care less about my family. I just got the responsibility here.
One day I was sharing what happened, and just now another friend said I should go and visit him. Well, that's perhaps how God wants me to start, which I think it's good in some ways. The only thing which may stop me from going is because I'm afraid. A friend did ask me one question "Will he (my dad) see you?" Seriously I got no answer right now but I believe God will make it right for me, no matter how hard it may be, as long as I have the faith and the positivity for the things to happen!
Anyway that aside, this whole week had being a busy week for myself. Haha.. One rewarding thing is that I found a new friend! Not exactly new la, but just that she had been there to talk crap with me and being there to listen to me. =) Thanks pal!
Another rewarding thing would be the Life Science Summit. It sure was a 'killer' but thank God for bringing me through that whole one week and my partner for the poster! It sure was nicely done!! Haha.. Had 3 presentations straight for the entire summit, 2 to both internal and external judges and another to year 2s and 3s for our Final year Project.!! Can really sense the lead from the Holy Spirit, not to fumble but be sturdy in my speech and presentation. Like what I had told some of you, I present actually better for these 3 presentations than my previous presentations, of which for this one I had to speak for least 5 mins and it's only a 2 person group as compared to my others which is at least a 3 person team. HAHA.. funny right? I too find it funny. =)
Anyway it's the new year.. There aren't many times we can start anew but i know that through Him ad by Him, everyday is a day of renewal because to Him, all things are possible and new with surprises and miracles! Haha!!!
Got to go by the way. Will blog again tomorrow. =)
Romans 8:28 -
And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.
1 Cor 15:58 -
Therefore, my beloved brethren, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that your labor is not in vain in the Lord.
it got me home
12:45:00 AM
Friday, January 27, 2006
After 3 weeks of work.. finally it's all over and indeed all are worth it.
All the late night or early morning of work, few hours of sleep, countless yawns and hours of work. They are over!!!!!!!
I'm into my 3rd month of serving as an usher. Time really passed by fast. Along the way met many friends, learnt many things which I never expect myself I would learn, doing the things that really blow my mind off, and not to forget my capacity and perspective widened.
Somehow those statements showed how much I'd grown but it doesn't mean it's the end of it. There are still a lot of things I have to learn but so far, experiences had been great with God just adding them into my life. Of course trials and tribulations still exist but I know that they will come to past because I had learnt something out of them.
Many people who had crossed my life, some I'm grateful to because you guys are here for me, some who had been guiding me when I'm in darkness, some I had arguments with and fell out because values we once used to hold fell apart, some who had touched my life like never before, some which I had resumed contact after a few years, and of course one who really let me want to enter her life to know more about her.
Regardless of whoever, you guys play an important part to my life because the situations you all created shaped what I am today. =)
it got me home
9:15:00 PM
After 3 weeks of work.. finally it's all over and indeed all are worth it.
All the late night or early morning of work, few hours of sleep, countless yawns and hours of work. They are over!!!!!!!
I'm into my 3rd month of serving as an usher. Time really passed by fast. Along the way met many friends, learnt many things which I never expect myself I would learn, doing the things that really blow my mind off, and not to forget my capacity and perspective widened.
Somehow those statements showed how much I'd grown but it doesn't mean it's the end of it. There are still a lot of things I have to learn but so far, experiences had been great with God just adding them into my life. Of course trials and tribulations still exist but I know that they will come to past because I had learnt something out of them.
Many people who had crossed my life, some I'm grateful to because you guys are here for me, some who had been guiding me when I'm in darkness, some I had arguments with and fell out because values we once used to hold fell apart, some who had touched my life like never before, some which I had resumed contact after a few years, and of course one who really let me want to enter her life to know more about her.
Regardless of whoever, you guys play an important part to my life because the situations you all created shaped what I am today. =)
it got me home
9:15:00 PM
Monday, January 23, 2006
Constant renovation is imperative.The law of decay affects everything in our world.Without renewal we do not move forward, we do not stay as we are, we move backwards and die.A leader must constantly renew himself.A leader constantly leads his people into renewal.Not just 'reviving' the old.
Never say, 'Let's do it again next year.' Say, 'How can we do it fresh, new, better next year. 'Transformation is the essence of renewal.A leader is a transformation expert.He leads change and people buy in.
it got me home
12:09:00 AM
Wednesday, January 18, 2006
We as humans, do need love. Because we want to be showered with care and concern, we want someone to be there for us when we need him/her, we want to seek the attention because humans don't like to be alone.
Right from the moment we were born, we are already yearning for love, from our parents. It's such a natural thing. As we grow up in years during childhood, we start to ask for more display of love from our parents. Apart from seeking their attention, we go for other things like asking them to fulfill our needs for materialistic items like toys or money.
Until the age when we start to mature and think, love from parents may not be sufficient for us. We feel that because we need more people to pay attention to us, and that desire increases as our social circle widens. Then comes boy-girl relationships in our teenage years and later as we approach into adulthood, the search for lifetime-companionship through marriage. Not sure if anyone noticed but our expectations of relationships and love increases as we start to think more of what we can get from our partner. We start to request for more time and attention to be spent on us.
Rightfully speaking such a thing is alright, when we learn how to give and take and our expectations are not too demanding. Still, break-ups still occur, divorces still happen, quarrels are as common as having 3 meals a day among couples. From my own point of view I just feel that when there's no mutual understanding between both parties or simply one side demands more than the other and there's unjustice, all hell break loose among couples.
Some other cases which i had seen, couples fell out with each other because there's no existance of feelings for each other in the relationships. They got together because they had a feel for each other, they like or love each other (whatever it is...). But after a period of time, feelings start to drain off and there's no sense of commitment, resulting in the failure of the relationship.
Commitment is a pretty important factor if the relationship is to last long because we need to have the motivation to keep a relationship going and feelings are not enough, even if you try to revive the old feelings because it gets tiring overtime, really. Being there and done that. It really takes up a lot of your time and energy.
So what is the requirement of love? Love asks for nothing except for commitment from willing hearts, because willing hearts can do all things no matter how difficult things may be and commitment keeps the passion of a person for something going. Once you have these 2, you'll just begin to see how wonderful relationships will be because everything will work out by itself, even if it means sacrificing for the other party (without compromises) it'll be a willing thing.
Just a thought of the day... Just feeling confused lately about some things (think ppl are smart to know what it is la) . Somehow my feelings just took over my rationale thoughts that I may not even know what I'm doing. Thank God there's still the spirit within to do the controlling. Thoughts may run wild at times but no actions are taken. Dun be mistaken that I'm actually going mad. Haha..
Psalm 18:32"It's God who arms me with strength and makes my way perfect."
it got me home
7:50:00 PM
Monday, January 16, 2006
Not sure what to put as a title..
This week I'm really stretched by what I have to do and I'm already exhausted and weary le.. Ain't a good day today too because I'm down with cold/flu (not sure which is which though I'm a bio student..) My nose is really giving me lots of problems today and I can't even concentrate during BTN class. Felt so lethargic also.
And today is only a Monday!!!!! Still got 4 more days of the weekdays to go and weekend gonna be real exciting although it'll be more tiring for me. But least I got someone to depend on for strength which is Him!!!
Anyway I'm almost done with my CNY clothes. Already spent 100 plus bucks on them but luckily mym mum blessed me with the money!! Hahah. was telling someone yesterday how fun can shopping be and why girls enjoy it so much! Lol.. Destress from all the work which I had too.
Now I'm thinking if I should serve in ministry next week because of the events coming up in the weekend and I got a dinner at night which I hope I wouldn't be so that by then.
Time management is a prob at times though everything is slightly more stable now. Sleep is compromised, and priorities are not set right as a result. But like I said, I'm still learnng to perfect it in such a way that I can have time for everything and as far as possible, not compromise any other things which I want to do.
Currently in school doing my work, but taking the time out to blog. Should be home for dinner now, so signing off. Shall blog later on how I spent my weekend! Toodles!!
Hebrews 6;1-2 -
Therefore, leaving the discussion of the elementary principles of Christ, let us go on to perfection, not laying again the foundation of repentance from dead works and of faith toward God, of the doctrine of baptisms, of laying on of hands, of resurrection of the dead, and of eternal judgment
it got me home
7:37:00 PM
Sunday, January 15, 2006
Just came back not long ago.. Had something for a scare just now.
Was meeting my mum just now at AMK central to get stuff for the upcoming chinese new year and what was shocking was that my brother went missing. He was with my mum all the while until when he went off by himself to look at some toys at the night market that he went missing. Spent nearly an hour looking for him at AMK central but to no avail. It really got my mum and myself very worried and i even thought of calling the police for assistance??
Anyway gladly that he's at home, safe and sound. While we were looking for him he just stranded off, all the way till my grandma's place. Still thank God for his safety. Man..
Yesterday (Sat) had been a day full of reflections and memory flashbacks. On one part I'm pretty happy that I had good fellowship with the youth ministry for DLCC. Missed them lots and really got a lot of things to share with them. Glad to know that many people that i know are rising up as cell grop leaders, or taking up more important roles in the ministry.
I'm glad myself that I had grown a lot indeed, over the last 10 months while I'm in CHC and happy that I'm able to share a lot of my own experiences to help to build my friends up, spiritually.
Oh, I finally saw Zilin too.. Haha.. Pretty girl now.. Used to be so guai and gentle-looking but after studying in Australia for just a year she seem really different, and even carried an Aussie accent too! Lol..
Overall the company was real good, and good chats with people like MC, Alicia and Peishan etc. Gonna miss you guys but let's carry on to do the works of God and glorify Him like never before! Haha..
Was walking home just now and suddenly it came into my mind this, "Am I able to really forgive my Dad and forget what he had done and allow things to start afresh?" Well, HS told me it was a yes and myself I believe I can do it. It all linked back to 2 days ago when I was talking to Lingling about forgetfulness and forgiveness. When you learn to forgive a person for what he had done, you will naturally forget what he/she had done to you because you no longer bear hatred for the person.
What troubles me is how people can say they forgive the person, but they can never forget what they did me.
Think of it this way. Forgiveness comes with total understanding that we should and we can forget what the person has done because we no longer hate the person, but love the person even more. Forgetfulness, allow us to start anew with the person because we no longer look at the past of what he did.
So shouldn;t both firgiveness and forgetfulness comes together? If we cannot forget what the person had done, we can't say we have forgiven the person. It's so contradicting..
Putting it in the case of my dad, i believe i can forget what he has done and i got a reason to forgive him, because he's my father after all. Anyway, I'm willing to do all these because I still love him. I still do.
SOme of you might think that if i love him, why did i send him to jail in the first place? First thing is that if i carry on to let him go to do what he feels like doing like stealing, isn't that destroying him rather than loving him? Second, I believe those who commit a crime should all be punished, espcially for repeated offenders.
I did understand the situation he's in, but he got into that situation himself, so it's always good for him to clear up the mess he created himself. Prayer-fully, i hope he would turn over a new leaf when he comes out soon.
We all only got one life, why not live it to the max?
Psalms 37:7 -
Rest in the LORD, and wait patiently for Him; Do not fret because of him who prospers in his way, Because of the man who brings wicked schemes to pass.
it got me home
12:32:00 AM
Friday, January 13, 2006
As explained in my previous post that I was chionging for the last few days.
Well, this weekend and next week onwards I'm gonna go into maximum gear to finish up my WISP, BTN and Proteomics PBL Presentations. So it's 3 presentations straight and I'm gonna conquer them all!!! HAHA...
Not really sure what to share now.. Seems like my creativity tank is empty~ Haha..
Be back later probably. Haha.. toodles
it got me home
10:20:00 PM
I'm very much slacking right now in school.. About to tahan 3 hours of break of doing nothing except to slack. Quite not used to not doing anything after chionging for 3 mornings straight of assignments. Grrr...
Getting pretty tired from all these assignments and not sure if it's the problem of time management because everyone is like going through the same thing as me, rushing through assignments. Gonna go through this for at least the next 1 week till next Friday when 80% of my assignments and projects plus presentations will be cleared.
Just got a comment from Weizhong saying "Year 3 sux." Quite agreeable coz we really almost can't take it.. Lol.. Desmind can even described our classmates as 'sinking into depression.' How bad can it be? You judge for yourself.
Anyway, 2 more months to graduation. Don't really feel like graduating because it's gonna be working life and national Service but given the current situation, you can sometimes can't help it but have the urge to graduate asap. Haha..
Tomorrow's Saturday.. Means slacking day? I hope so.. Haha.. Morning will be down in Expo and the rest of the day spending with my previous church friends. Sure miss them
lots! lol..
In any case toodles!! WIll update later again.. Today is finally a sunny day.. Yay!!
Eph 6:17-20
And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God; praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, being watchful to this end with all perseverance and supplication for all the saints— and for me, that utterance may be given to me, that I may open my mouth boldly to make known the mystery of the gospel, for which I am an ambassador in chains; that in it I may speak boldly, as I ought to speak.
it got me home
1:34:00 PM
Thursday, January 12, 2006
Now it's 1am in the morning.. I'm still doing my work but super lazy and feel like sleeping. It's just the layback attitude plus laziness..
See, the flesh can be so negative at times. HAha...
Just got to be diligent in my work. Man.. when will i ever be done with school? Lol..
Proverbs 10:4He becomes poor who works with a slack and idle hand, but the hand of the diligent makes rich.
it got me home
12:59:00 AM
Wednesday, January 11, 2006
Recently my internet is giving me a lot of problems.. cannot take it le.. argh.. gonna buy a new laptop after graduation too.. just 2 more months!! Haha..
Been real busy the last few days finishing reports and all..grrr.. nvm.. looking forward to no work after 6 more weeks which will be my graduation don;t feel like graduating. Why? I'll miss studying!!
Anyway i'm changing my blogskin again.. dun like the current one i'm having. haha..
that's all for now.. will blog more later.
it got me home
10:34:00 PM
Tuesday, January 10, 2006
Most 'fallen' ministers I've met with said they had no-one to talk to, no trusted friends who would understand their problem.God says, 'It's not good that man be alone.'Friends are to laugh with, cry with and do life together with.
Friends are forged in fire.Shared experience is the bases of relationship.Be there in their ups and their downs and friendship forms.Our destiny is locked into our friendships.Jonathan was meant to inherit his father's Saul's throne, but he prepared his soul friend David for that. How's your friends? ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------As u read the above passage, What does it occur to you about friends? How has your friends impacted you for the years that you were here? How has your expectations for your friends changed over the years? There are many questions which you can ask yourself on the topic 'Friends and Friendship.' And very often such quesations which I had listed above affect how we think and act upon our friendships as we learn to seek answers.
Right here right now, I dare to say I have and had gained new and lost friendships over the years. To those surviving friendships, there are many levels to it too. Whether they are superficial, in-depth (whereby you will know each other), or unstable types etc. I had experienced many of such. I received much from what I had been through, and I tried to learn from it. There's never such a thing called perfection in friendships because we are all imperfect beings. The only thing we can do is to work towards making friendships a better one.
No friendships come without quarrels, none comes without happy moments too. But not all that had been through all these will survive. Only those that involves parties that's willing to make the friendship work will.
I had lost someone dear as a friend 1 year ago. All because I failed my duty as a friend to uphold promises and to be a good friend that trust is all lost. Even till now, I have no courage to really stand up to make everything work again. But I pray one day, that such moments will be over. The price is too great for me to take on, even till now that I sometimes feel like crying whenever I think about it. Again just this semester and the previous, I believed I'd done a great hurt to her as a friend, though she still believed in me even till now. I'm not sure if she's getting sick of it, I'm not sure how she thinks of the change in friendship over the last 2 semesters. I just don't know. Might be because of my laidback attitude then, my unwillingness to commit till the last minute then, that might have caused the whole thing. I felt regretful for what has happened. It's all about the willingness I suppose? The willingness to make changes...There's another friendship which I'm holding on now. I have confusion if such a friendship will turn up to be a long-term commitment, maybe even a lifetime commitment as my lifetime partner. Till today the confusion still says, still I want the friendship to just remain as it is. I'm happy with the way things are right now. Maybe we'll see how it progresses in the future, for now, there shall be no commitment into a relationship for me. My heart turned cold once, if not for the friendships that I have with the rest. They showed me friendships is not just about sharing and supporting each other, it's also about taking the effort to go the extra mile for the other person. The little things that they do for you, it simply shows the love they have for you. It's just so nice, and no matter how little it may be, it means a lot.
Like I said no one is perfect. I'm still on my way on becoming a better friend. I might have started out bad, but least I know I'm working on it not to be at square one. I believe oneday I will improve and not let any of the friendships I have die down, and allow them to grow to be positive and experiential. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------I came to realise, at no point of time should anyone be left lonely. Why? They never deserved to be left ignored or forgotten. --> This is the nick I have from my MSN. It just occured to me that no one should reallybe lonely because they don't deserve to. Everyone deserves to have at least a friend. I guess that's what love is all about and how Jesus teaches us to exhibit God's love by 'loving our neighbours as ourselves and praying even for our enemies.' There's never hatred in the friendship, there's never rejection in the friendship. Only acceptance and love for each other.
I was reading a letter from my Dad just now. Although it's just a one page letter without much contents, it just hit me that I didn't pay much attention to my my family members, especially for my dad who's in prison now. I hadn't shower the love enough to make my family feel loved, let alone time spent in the family.
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It's time for changes now, especially in the new year. No point just sitting down here and do nothing, I just got to make things happen, as long as I make the effort to do it. It may fail, it may not, it all depends on my attitude towards it. As long as I do my best, nothing else matters.
How I wish I can say much more but somehow, I just couldn't put them into words. What I typed might be hurting to some people, or some people tend to disagree. It doesn't really matter to me because it's what I believe in and I will act upon them to make sure that no tragedies ever happen again.
Matthew 19:19 - Jesus replied, " 'Do not murder, do not commit adultery, do not steal, do not give false testimony, 19honor your father and mother, 'and 'love your neighbor as yourself.'
it got me home
10:24:00 PM
